Common mistakes made as a new doula

Back in 2015, fresh out of my mainstream doula training, I couldn’t wait to start serving families. I was full of passion and purpose and luckily, surrounded by friends who were pregnant, which gave me an unexpected head start in launching my doula career.

At the time, I hadn’t given birth in Germany my first daughter was born in the U.S. While I was eager to support others, I was also navigating an unfamiliar maternity system myself. It wasn’t until 2019 and 2022, when my next two daughters were born in Germany, that I truly experienced the system from the inside out. I was sure I’d change the world , one birth at a time.

Of course, like many new doulas, I made my fair share of big, humbling mistakes. So in this post, I’m sharing common mistakes new doulas make and how you can avoid them as you step into this beautiful, complex work.

Looking back on my early days, I can now laugh (and sometimes cringe) at the missteps I made. These mistakes didn’t make me a bad doula, they made me a growing one. If you’re just beginning, we hope this list saves you some stress and helps you build your practice with more clarity and confidence. Here are common mistakes many new doulas make and how you can avoid them as you grow into your role.

Tip #1 - Undervaluing Their Services

Charging too little or offering too much for free because of imposter syndrome or fear of scaring clients away. Why it matters: It devalues the profession, leads to burnout, and attracts clients who may not respect your boundaries.

Avoid it by:

• Researching local market rates

• Calculating your time (prenatals, on-call, birth, postpartum, back ups, childcare, rent ect)

• Practicing saying your rates confidently

Tip #2 - Not Setting Clear Boundaries

As a doula of 10 years now i still struggle with this but i promise you will get better at this the more and more clients you have. So many amazing trainings out there are teaching this and in the end something you have to expereince yourself. Sometimes we dont know we get triggered by certain things until they happen. Being available 24/7 for non-urgent texts, calls, or emotional labor, especially during the on-call period.

Why it matters: It creates unsustainable working conditions and blurs lines between support and self-sacrifice.

Avoid it by:

• Outlining communication expectations in your contract or agreement

• Using templates or auto-responses for messages during off-hours like weekends and only have your phone while being on call over the weekends. I go in and out of using a burner phone and setting clients to differnt ring tones.

• Scheduling postpartum check-ins intentionally making sure you have time for what they write back.

"It creates unsustainable working conditions and blurs lines between support and self-sacrifice. "

Tip #3 - Trying to Be a “Hero” at Births

Over-involving themselves or trying to “fix” situations, sometimes even unintentionally overstepping into differnt roles. This is NOT your birth, we don't need to fix anyone or save anyone.

Why it matters: Doulas are non-clinical. Interfering can damage your relationship with providers and put you or your client at risk. Not only this but it takes the name of the doula and breaks the trust of the medical team or hospital. Also is makes our clients feel like they have less power , we should never speak on behalf of our clients but ratehr ask questions like

'Are you ok with that'

'Lets ask a questions and use our BRAINS'

'Would you like more infomation on that'

Avoid it by:

• Knowing your scope: physical, emotional, informational support

• Practicing advocacy that centers the birthing person’s voice, not yours and finding the different between triggers internaly or triggers to your clients.

• Building collaborative relationships with hospital staff.

Tip #4 - Lack of a Clear Contract

Starting work without a clear written agreement —

Outlining what's included, your refund and cancellation policies, and your backup plan is a common early misstep. This is heart-centered work, and most new doulas are drawn to it from a deep calling to serve. But once money is exchanged, it becomes a business too. The key is learning how to blend compassion with professionalism honoring both the emotional nature of this work and the need for clear, respectful boundaries.

Why it matters: This can lead to misunderstandings, non-payment, or boundary-pushing by clients.

Avoid it by:

• Always using a client contract even for friends or “community” births, even if its an energy exchange or trade exchange write it down!

• Clearly listing services, limits, fees, and backup doula arrangements

Tip #5 - Neglecting Their Own Self-Care & Support

Not having a support system, working too many births in a row, or skipping rest and processing time after hard births. I was a single mother for awhile being a new doula and wow did I learn alot!

Compassion fatigue and burnout are real risks in birth work. You see it in hospital staff and although we can control how many births we take or postpartum client we take being a doula in the end is the main emotional support for both birthing perosn and their partner.

Avoid it by:

• Setting a monthly client limit (e.g., 2–3 births max)

• Debriefing difficult births with other doulas or mentors

• Having a reliable backup so you can rest if needed

• Have a ritual or self care routine after a birth. .

Tip #6 - Saying “Yes” to Everyone

In the beginning, I said “yes” to every potential client who reached out. I was genuinely thrilled that people wanted me by their side during such an intimate, powerful moment. But here’s what I didn’t realize right away: the consultation is a two-way conversation, not just a job interview where I try to “get hired.”

It’s just as important that the doula feels aligned with the family as the other way around. I’ve since learned to listen to my gut, especially when something feels off during those initial chats. And one major shift? I now require partners to be present for interviews it gives me a better sense of the whole dynamic, which helps everyone feel more grounded going forward.

Tip #7 - Treating It Like a Hobby, Not a Business

 In the early days, I didn’t treat my doula work like a business because 1, I was so afraid if this could actually work full time and often in the begining we are having to keep our other jobs. I figured I’d remember the important birth details and keep it all “in my head.” Spoiler: I didn’t. And when tax season came around, I had zero mileage records, no clear expense tracking, and definitely no systems in place.

Now, I’m much more organized not just for financial reasons, but also to better support my clients. I document key notes after every visit and birth, and I keep everything updated in case a backup doula ever needs to step in (Thanks google docs) . Getting support from a business mentor made a huge difference, and I highly recommend every new doula find one or at least a solid bookkeeping app!

"No one has your exact story, voice, or presence. You bring something unique to the birth space just by being you. Stay curious, keep learning, and trust that experience grows with time.."

Tip #8 - Comparing Yourself to Other Doulas

Scrolling Instagram or sitting in peer circles, it’s easy to feel like everyone else is more experienced, more confident, or more “qualified.” When I became a doula in my city there where five only English speaking doulas and no instagram back then only parent support facebook groups I would advertise in and I felt so out of place, they where older than me, obviously more experienced but what set me aside from them was that I was a mother and was doing my own thing. I had to go old school with flyers, contact people via email, network with anyone I could think of.

Mindset can lead to self-doubt or impostor syndrome.

Tip: Remember no one has your exact story, voice, or presence. You bring something unique to the birth space just by being you. Stay curious, keep learning, and trust that experience grows with time.

Every doula starts somewhere, and mistakes are part of the journey but you don’t have to learn them all the hard way. I hope these tips help you feel more prepared, grounded, and supported as you grow.

Ready to take the next step? Become a member here https://www.doula-kollektiv.org/mitgliedschaften 

Have a question or your own early doula story to share?

Drop it in the comments below, we would love to hear from you!